If Only
by Katara1439
Summary: Song Fic. Gwevin. Kevin and Gwen won't talk to each other since charm master. Here's both sides of what happended! PLEASE READ!
1. When Your Gone

_**It's been along time since I've wrote a fan fiction/song fiction.. So people don't be mean or to harsh in the comment/review. Ya I hope you enjoy. **_

_**Takes place after the whole Kevin Charm master/ "in Charms way" this is when Gwen goes Gwen's POV**_

_***I Don't Own Anything***_

_**Song" When Your Gone By Avril Lavigne **_

_**When Your Gone**_

I sat on the roof. I couldn't stop think about what Kevin said. All those word repeat themselves. How did this happen? How?

_I always needed time on me own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cried_

I felt hot tears run down my face. Why? Kevin. Why? His words echoed in my head. I'd told him he wasn't a monster, again and again. And it was true, to me he was the same Kevin I know. But he wouldn't listen to me. Tears came down faster.

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie is made up on your side _

How many times did I tell him?. Maybe I was wrong about Kevin,maybe he is the old Kevin we knew. No, his not the same Kevin. He hasn't done any illegal stuff 2 yrs. I wonder how many days we would be apart. Maybe it's good to be apart. Maybe I hurt him badly and maybe won't show up for a mission. I think if that happened I would snap.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now_

Had I pushed him over? Did I? My tears came down my face feeling hotter and hotter every tear.

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too_

I miss him. Ben didn't bother me. It was very quiet. Sitting alone up on a roof top and make you think of things you wish not to remember. My thoughts were echoing in my head. Why did he kiss her? Why? Do I not compare to her. I liked him the day I saw him come out of his car when the knights were taking illegal stuff.

_When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you_

Like? More like love. I wish he would admit it. I wish I would admit_. _I won't try to avoid him. I loved him to much. I don't care if I was angry. Think I should go make up with him. But what is he doesn't want to. What if I pushes him to much. My fault

"I was angry with you!"

His black eyes widened in shock at what I said. "Wait- me?!"

"No! Okay, yes, a little! I mean, why were you even hanging out with her?"

"Because I thought she liked me," he confessed softly.

That really got me mad, how could he. "And I don't?!"

"If you liked me so much, how come you haven't bothered to find a way to change me back?" His eyes broke contact . "After all, as long as I'm a monster, no other girl would want me, right?"

I finally saw the truth . He was right. I couldn't try just so I could keep him to myself. "We are not having this conversation.

At this point I didn't even want to see his face or hear his voice. Maybe it's over. Maybe he didn't love me. Now I really can't stop crying

I hope it was good. I haven't wrote in a long time so please time me anything. If it needs less talk or stay on track or something. Give me advice. Just help me out. If you guys liked it and want more plz review and tell me.

Till later,

Katara1439


	2. What Hurts The Most

Song- What Hurts the Most By Rascal Flats

I sit here sit on the beach after I talked to Ben. What he said... was it true? Had she been looking for a cure. Now I hurt the thing I loved the most. She was my life and I let her slip away. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I felt a tear run down my face. Why did I do that to her? Why? My words echoed in my head. I know Im a monster. And it was true. I hurt her made her cry. I hate to see her cry makes me think of all I have done to cause such a thing to happen ,she really never cries,but I made her cry.

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me

I pushed her to far. The only thing that actually loved me. And I hurt her. I bet she doesn't even want to see me the way shattered her heart.

What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away

I just let her leave. I should of stop her and said sorry but I know that would to sincere for what just happened with Charm Caster. GRRRRR! CHARM CASTER! The next time I see her Im going to give her a piece of my mind.

And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

I even kissed Charm Caster! I know Gwen will never forgive me now.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

I miss her. It was very quiet. Sitting here looking up at the stars and making you think of things I wish I wouldn't remember. My thoughts were echoing in my head. Why did I kiss her? Why? I was even going to ask Gwen out before the whole Charm Caster thing! But now its the worst time to even bring up. I liked Gwen the first day I saw her.

Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken

Like? More like love. I wish I would admit it. Im not going to avoid her. I loved her way to much. I don't care if she angry she my world and I want to go and say Im sorry. Man, now its raining, I guess I deserve that! It's all my fault,

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away

"I was angry with you!"

My black eyes widened in shock at what she said said. "Wait- me?"

"No! Okay, yes, a little! I mean, why were you even hanging out with her?"

"Because I thought she liked me," I confessed softly. That was a mistake!

. "And I don't?" I saw her mad, and about to cry.

"If you liked me so much, how come you haven't bothered to find a way to change me back?" His eyes broke contact . "After all, as long as I'm a monster, no other girl would want me, right?"

I finally pushed her over the edge. Only if I knew that this would happen I would have not done and thing.

And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away

At this point I didn't want to want to make her any madder. Maybe it's over. Maybe all I said shattered her. Maybe she didn't love me any more. If only..

$&%*(^)^$((*$&%*$&%*$&%*$&

COMMENT & REVIEW I KNOW IT MIGHT NOT OF FIT AS WELL BUT U KNOW WHAT ITS SAYS!.


	3. Happy Gwen's POV

Song: Happy by Leona Lewis

"Come on Gwen it's been 5 days. You need to get out,get some fresh air. Get some sun, your sooo pale." said Julie. She thought Gwen was breaking down way to hard and not keeping herself well.

I kept quiet. I really don't need to go outside. I'm perfectly fine sitting her in my room.

"Gwen, come on I want to see you happy. Lets go out have some girl time,Julie said, "Gwen you can't have everything."

_  
Someone once told me that you have to choose...  
What you win or lose  
You can't have everything_

" Julie, I really don't want to get hurt. I really can't take anymore pain." I said almost crying.

" Gwen, I know it hurts now but this will all past. I now you might feel the pain, but lets go have fun for just 2 hours. Please?" Julie begged.

_ Don't you take chances  
You might feel the pain  
Don't you love in vain_

I thought about it. Everyone said that I was looking really bad. And if I did this everyone would be off my cast. I miss Kevin but I really need to get out. Maybe after me and Julie hang out I could go say sorry...

"Okay Julie." I said.

"Where do you want to go." she said.

"Lets go to the Lake and go swimming." I said. I know this will get my mind off Kevin.

_ Cause love wont set you free  
I could stand by the side  
And watch this life pass me by  
SO unhappy but safe as could be..._

" I'm going to go get ready." I said I know I have to get ready to see the monster. Me.

"Okay let me call my mom and tel her where I'll be." she said walking off.

I grabbed a bikini and some clothes to wear over them. I walked into the bathroom to see myself. I looked like CRAP! My hair was frizzy. My make-up was all over my face. My eyes red. What if I break down in front of Julie that would be embarrassing.

_ So what if it hurts me?  
So what if I break down?  
SO what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground_

Meanwhile with Julie:

"Hey Ben. It's me." Julie said.

"SO how is she?" Ben asking know his cousin was pretty badly hurt.

"She looks like crap. I finally got her to get out of the house,Julie said.

"Thats great!" said Ben

" Hey how is Kevin?"

" He looks like crap,too. He feels awful. He was even crying. Hey where are you and Gwen going?" Ben asked trying to think of a plan.

"Going to the lake."

"Lets secretly meet up there."

"Oh. I get it okay I love you .Bye ." said Julie she hung up the phone.

_ I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about other pain in front of me  
Cause I'm just tryna be happy,yea_

Just wanna be happy,yea

"Im ready. I will drive. Just let me tell my mom." I said walking into kitchen to talk to her. Julie is up to something.

"Okay lets go." I said. Lets hope everything goes right. If Only...

yep ch.3! OK SO THE SONG IF GOING TO BE SPILT UP FOR GWEN & kEVIN. gWEN GOT THE FIRST HALF & kEVIN GOT GETS THE OTHER HALF! BOTH KEVIN'S AND GWEN'S POV IS HAPPING THE SAME TIME. BEN IS AT KEVIN'S & JULIE IS AT GWEN'S.

Ben & julie have something planed


	4. Happy Kevin's POV

Song: Happy by Leona Lewis Kevin's POV

"Come on Kev. It's been 5 days. You look like crap, your car needs to get out. Staying in here won't help anything,man." Ben said.

I kept quiet. I held on tightly to Gwen's locket. She took it off and left it in the car when we were goin to the beach to wash me off of Ben puke.

"Kev, come on. I really don't want see you stuck in this house when you could be outside fixing your car or something."

_Holding on tightly_

_Just can't let it go_

_Just tryna play my roll _

_Slowly disappear...oooh_

"You don't get it Ben. I really don't want to get hurt. I can't take...anymore pain." I was crying at that point losing Gwen... she was the only thing that cared for me besides my mom., " I and... I don't ...want to hurt...Gwen"

"Kevin, I know it hurts to think about Gwen. But you need to have time alone for a little while. I know this is hard to hear but lets just go have fun for 2 hours or fix your car somewhere, I really don't want to be stuck in the house all day when it's 85* outside"

_Well all these tears_

_They feel like they're the same_

_Just different faces,_

_Different names_

_Get me outta here_

I thought about what he said. He was right. Everyone said I was looking bad. And if I didn't this everyone would just Shut up about me. So why not just go outside. Maybe after me and Ben hand out I could go say sorry...

"Okay, lets go." I said

"Ok. Let's go swimming." He said. I know this will get my mind of Gwen.

_Well I can stand by the side_

_And watch this life pass me By..._

_Pass me by_

" I'm going to go get ready." I said I know I have to get ready to see the monster. Me.

" Okay. My mom is calling me. Let me go answer this." he said walking off

I grabbed trunks and some clothes to put over them. I walked into the bathroom to see myself. I looked like CRAP! My hair looked like it got ran over by a Freaking cow!. My face was pale. My eyes red. What if I break down in front of Ben. That would be embarrassing.

_SO what if hurts me?_

_SO what if I break down?_

_So what if this world just throws me off the edge_

_My feet run out of ground_

Meanwhile with Ben:

"Hey Ben. It's me." Julie said. She was at Gwen's house.

"So how is she." Ben said

"She looks like crap. I finally got her to get out of the house," she said.

"That's great." he said.

"Hey, how is Kevin?" she asked

" He looks like crap,too. He feels awful. He was even crying. Hey where are you ad Gwen going." He asked.

"Going to the lake." she said questioning

"Let's secretly meet up there." He said

"Oh. I get it okay. I love you. Bye. She said hanging up the phone.

_I gotta find my place_

_I wanna hear my sound_

_Don't care about other pain in front of me_

_Cause I'm just tryna be happy_

_Just wanna be happy,yea_

"I'm ready. We will take my car." I said grabbing the keys. I know Ben is up to something

"Okay lets go." I said. Lets hope everything goes right. If only...


	5. If Only

Song: Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts Gwen's POV had a HEART Kevin's HAS NOTHING

Julie and I arrive the at the lake and got all of the food and put the blanket down on the rock. Julie jumped into the lake right after everything was out of the car. I took off my tank top so my bikini top would show and I kept my shorts on. I **didn't **really **plan** on getting **wet.** I sat on the rock and put my toes in the water. I looked at myself in the water and image Kevin hold me. I missed him.

_I set out on a narrow way,many years ago_

_Hoping I would find true love along the broken road_

Ben and I arrived on the WRONG side of the lake. We were going to the rock but we ended up on the other side of the lake. NEVER LISTEN TO BEN'S DIRECTIONS AGAIN! So I wanted to drive to the rock. And we did. Only 5 minutes away. I took my shirt of before we go in the car. I didn't really plan on getting wet. Only 2 more minutes. I hope once this is over I could go talk to Gwen.

_But I got lost a time or two_

_Wiped my brow and kept pushing through_

I hear the sound of a car but I just irgone it. Then it gets louder like it's getting closer. Julie can't stop smiling and it is pissing me off.

"Whats up with you?" I said with a little anger in my voice

"Oh nothing. Don't get mad. You will be very happy." she said still smiling. I wanted that smile to go away. That stupid car is getting closer. Don't they know this a secret place! And what did Julie mean by "You will b very happy." THAT CAR! is annoying! SECRET PLACE! HELLO!

_I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you_

I park away from the tree. I park behind this car. For a secret place it gets a lot of people. ( Gwen's car is far away from the tree she's like parked on the street and he didn't notice it was her's.) We stop and I see Ben smiling. IT'S PISSING ME OFF NOW! SO I make him carry everything. It was just towels and some soda's & some smoothies for Ben.

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my hear, they were like northern stars_

I hear the car stop and park. I watch Julie jump into the water. I then stand up. My legs hurt. I shake it out. I hear foot steps. It couldn't be...

I walk more I see people from far away. It couldn't be...

I see Kevin. He walks more closer to my. I'm holding back tears.

I she her. As I'm walking up to her I know what I'm going to say. I'm trying to hold in my tears.

When he is close to me the first thing I did was hug him so tightly I could not breath. I take in the scent of him. I missed him. I start crying.

I get close to her and she hugs me. I first I was confued but then I just hold her so tightly. I missed her. Her scent filled my mind with love. She starts crying.

_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms_

_This is how much I know is true_

** NOBODY'S POV**

Kevin hears he cry. He backs away and wipes her tears off. Gwen smiles but is crying harder. She goes back in his arms. Kevin puts his arms around her and starts talking to her.

"i have been thinking a lot.. hold on let me read the letter." He pulls out a letter and reads it. She thought it was weird.

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

_Yes He did_

_I think about the years I spent. Just passing thought._

"Dear Gwen,

I have been thinking to myself a lot lately over what went wrong and what makes me feel terribly awful. And I bet you think this letter is stupid or weird but here comes the true part of the letter.

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart, that our hearts have come to dwell together, as one. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my best friend. You are my one true love. The day we met was fate. Our lives intertwining was fate. You are my destiny. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today. Loving you is the only thing that makes life worth living.

Please forgive me for all the hurt that I have caused you in the past; I love you and I always will until I die. Hopefully, when that day comes, I will still have you by my side and you will be that last angel face I see. I will be able to hold you in my arms one last time and tell you how much I love you and how much you really mean to me. I'm sorry.

Love Always,

Kevin.

_I'd like to have the time I lost,and give it back to you_

_But you smile and Take my hand_

Gwen can not believe he loved her. He even said it himself. Kevin just stres at her, All he sees is tears. He doesn't know if they are good or bad tears.

" Kevin... I'm... sorry ….to."

"Don't be it was my fault. All I want to hear is that you forgive me."

"I...forgive...you..." she crying harder. Kevin scoops her up in his arms and lets her cry. (They are be the rock, by the way) Kevin starts crying,too.

_You've been there, you understand_

_It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true_

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars_

Ben & Julie smile. They thought it was sweet of Kevin the write a note to Gwen. They slip into the lake trying not to make any noise.

_This much I know is true_

After a few moments they stop crying. They look into each other eyes. Kevin wipes away her tears. And Gwen does they same.

"Kevin.."

"Yeah, Gwen."

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

"I Love You" she said getting closer to him

"I Will Always Love You." He got closer.

_But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms_

_This I know is true_

Gwen leans in to Kevin and then there lips touch softly. Gwen puts her hands on Kevin's face. Then Kevin put his hands around her waist then Gwen puts her hands around his neck. Now the kiss felt like fireworks just came out of no where, into the sky.

_That God blessed the broken road _

_That led me straight to you_

They feel something toguth them. Then they get pushed into the water by Ben. They don't care. They both start kissing again. If Only...


End file.
